Happy New Year

I just watched the ball drop and kissed the hubby.  I know that it is just another day, but I feel relieved that 2012 is finally over!  This time last year I was recovering after my post miscarriage surgery.  At the time I thought the worst was behind me, boy was I wrong.

2012 brought with it massive grieving and heartache.  Not only did we loose our son, but I then watched helplessly as friends delivered their twin sons at 20 weeks, and another pair of friends loose their 4 day old daughter.  Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse a college friend died by suicide, and too many friends suffered miscarriages.  Not to mention the heartbreaking stories I hear coming out of the DR Congo.

I started the year last year praying that God would "break my heart for what breaks yours."  Be careful what you ask for!  Never did I imagine that I would have the experiences that I had or grown in the ways that I have grown-mostly in compassion for other grieving moms.  If I had the choice I would have picked to NOT grow in those ways, but God had other plans.  I must remember that His ways are not my ways, His thoughts are higher than my thoughts, and He has plans not to hurt me but to give me hope and a future!  Those things are hard to believe in the midst of heartbreak-- and I have truly physically felt my heart break lately.

As I start 2013...like it or not, my prayer is the similar: "break my heart until it moves my hands and feet."  This is the year of doing...of going...I know that as I travel to the DRC (hopefully this year!) to bring home our child(ren) that the things I see there will break my heart.  The only thing I can say is bring it on!  Living in this world is not an easy thing to do, especially for those less fortunate than us.  I just hope I can bring some comfort to those precious Congo babies I see on my computer screen.

If all goes well we will actually have some activity on the adoption front.  Sometime in January we will be starting our home study!

Here a poem that Adam gave me for Christmas along with a star named after Isaiah David.  I do not know the author, sorry!

Daddy, please don't look so sad, Mama please don't cry-'Cause I am in the arms of Jesus and He sings me lullabies.
Please, try not to question God, don't think he is unkind, don't think he sent me to you, and then he changed his mind.
You see, I am a special child, and I'm needed up above, I;m the special gift you gave Him, the product of your love.
I'll always be there with you, and watch the sky at night, find the brightest star that's gleaming, that's my halo's brilliant light.
You'll see me in the morning frost, that mists your window pane, that's me in the summer showers, I'll be dancing in the rain.
When you feel a little breeze, from a gentle wind that blows, that's me, I'll be there planting a kiss on your nose.
When you see a child playing and your heart feels a little tug, that's me, I'll be there, giving your heart a hug.
So Daddy, please don't look so sad, Mama don't you cry, I'm in the arms of Jesus, and he sings me lullabies.

Lastly, another angel mamma told me "We can't pick and choose what comes from God and what doesn't.  No matter if we think it was 'good' or 'bad' God gave us the experience for a reason."

Rest in Peace Isaiah, Josie, Charlie, Nate, Lillian, Ryan, Francis, Aniahya, & all of the other babies gone too soon.

December update

It has been a while since I've posted anything.  Here is a recap of what we've been up to the last month....

Thanksgiving at my parents, Thanksgiving at Adams Parents, Thanksgiving at our house with Adams Nanny and Dad.  Adam helped his parents move in to a new house the day before Thanksgiving and they generously donated lots of furniture for our Spring yard sale fundraiser.  I cleaned out the basement to make room for donations, but somehow all of their furniture is still piled to the ceiling in our dining room. Funny how that happens :)

We celebrated my 28th birthday. Yikes! Only two more years til the big 3-0.  Did I mention that my ten year high school reunion is next year? Double Yikes!

We put up the Christmas decorations, got all of our shopping done (which wasn't really a challenge since we are only buying for Reagan this year) and will be stuffing 242 Christmas letters tomorrow.

Did I mention Reagan had a stomach bug for a week?  I am still behind on laundry from the bug, and somehow I'm behind on dishes too.  The doctor wants us to keep her off of dairy for a couple weeks just to make sure she hasn't developed an allergy.

Adam has officially started Seminary so please pray that God will use the next three years to reveal himself to Adam and His plan for our lives. Also please pray for my sanity and that I will adjust to Adam being even busier than usual.

Reagan spent the night at Memaw and Grandpa Larry's house last night so Adam and I could clean the house (still working on that), and give all three dogs a bath- actually, a shower.  Then of course we had to clean the bathroom.

Enough playing catch up, lets talk about the adoption!  We have ended our online shopping fundraiser.  I've yet to find out how we did, but will update as soon as I know.  We will continue to sell Just Love Coffee throughout 2013 so feel free to look at our online storefront.  I have had reports from people who have received their coffee that it was "surprisingly good."

I've had a couple of people ask if they can donate money to our adoption account so I have added a Paypal button on the right side.  We will be selling t shirts and having some local fundraisers throughout the winter.  In the spring we will be having a yard sale.  If you have any items you would like to donate to our yard sale let me know (we'll be storing items in our basement).

We have opted to start our home study before paying the initial agency fee.  This will help us keep moving along in the process instead of waiting to begin until we raise the money for agency fee.  After we complete the home study we will qualify for grants and various fundraising opportunities.  We feel that this is the best option for us however, it will mean that our first and second agency fees will be due around the same time. Please pray that the home study is as pain free as possible.  It involves a lot of paperwork, finger printing, fire inspection, physicals, interviews with our social worker, and lots of other things I've yet to find out about.  It will take about 3-4 months to complete and we should be scheduling it to begin sometime in January.

Last of all I wanted to thank you all so much for your support and prayers.  We are so blessed to have family and friends who are excited for us and who are eager to go on this journey with us as we find our kids and bring them home.  I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes that keeps me going when things get rough.

"When He invites us to experience more and better life, He invites us from the perspective of a God who loves his life, the world he made, and invites us to experience life in all it's fullness. That doesn't mean though, that getting involved in God's life is always going to be easy...it's not. Getting involved in God's life will bring us fulfillment and inexpressible pleasure, but it also will involve risk, and pain, and sacrifice. How do we know this? We know this because God's life and God's experience with this world and humanity has involved great risk, and pain, and sacrifice. Yet at the end of the day he is still filled with great joy." -Terry A. Smith